Yesterday, was quite the day. I have not been to a memorial service in quite sometime. I did not even really know Josh but I could not stop crying. Death is such a sad thing at times...it should be happy if you think about it. He or she is on to being with Jesus. How exciting. I always struggle with the fact of wondering who goes to heaven and who doesn't. Good thing I don't have to worry about that. I'm glad it is all up to God.
I've been thinking a lot lately about heaven. I don't understand how when people die everyone is for heaven and meeting loved ones at the pearly gates but while living here on earth, he or she isn't for God or doesn't follow Him. That confuses me. Is it because we, as humans, don't want to be told how to live our lives? I know, for me, following the Lord has only brought good to my life. I don't know. Just something that has been on my mind a lot lately.
Anyway, our lease for our house is up in May. I have no idea where I am going to live. I have a few options but nothing seems to really line up. I know I just need to wait and keep moving forward. I just hate not being in control. Even though when I am in control...things seem to get worse. Ha. Weird how that works.
Ian and I have been praying a lot together as of late. It has been wonderful. A true bond that is being formed with Jesus as the center. It has been so good. I just fall in love with him more and more every day. I can't wait to marry him. But I don't want to rush anything if it is not the right time. Then I come to...why wait when you have met the person you want to be with for the rest of your life. So many thoughts. I am just so grateful for him and the love we share.
I have been sick since last Thursday. So stupid. I have not worked in six days. Which is so weird. I have literally been lying down and watching movies until yesterday. I am finally starting to feel better. Praise Jesus.
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