Anywho...
I'm sitting at the front window of liquid planet and find myself making weird eye contact with people walking by. Not surprising though. I'd rather watch people than do..well...anything else. Okay, not anything else but more so than not. I always let my thoughts take me for a walk. I like to think I know what is going on in other's lives when I watch them. And when it comes down to it I really know nothing about he or she. It is fun to think I do though :)
John Mayer just popped on my Coldplay Pandora station. This is what I am talking about. I wish I could get paid to sit in the corner or coffee shops, try their drinks, rate them, write, read and watch people. Gosh, what a life that would be! I'd be more than okay with that lifestyle.
My mind seriously never stops churning. I feel like I'm making butter. Ha, I make myself laugh and that isn't even funny. I wonder if anyone really understands me. I don't even really understand myself. What does understanding someone really mean though? Hmm...maybe i should be a philosopher. Sometimes I think that would be really enjoyable. Then I listen to what Ian learns in his classes and it just seems like an endless circle of trying to figure out life and never getting anywhere. That just doesn't sound very rewarding to me.
I have been thinking a lot about going back to school...AGAIN. I am so fickle. I wish I would just make a decision and stay with it like most people. But let's be honest, I am definitely not like most people. A few months ago Hollee mentioned a major at the university...I don't remember what it is called..but it has to do with working with deaf children. I think that would be awesome. I really would like to be a teacher of some sort but I just can't get past all of the schooling. I wish I could just skip the college part and just be a teacher now. I suppose that is not how things work these days. Unfortunate. I've also thought a lot about bible school somewhere which would be swell. China keeps reminding me about the bible school in Sweden. It would be awesome. It is rather expensive and I think you have to pay upfront for everything. That also means I would have to be across the world from Ian for a few months. I think it would be good for us but it would also really suck. We're talking about going from seeing him every day to not seeing him for months. I feel like it would strengthen our relationship a lot. I just fear I would become depressed and very lonely. I know that would be more true for Ian. I don't know exactly what to do. There are so many options. I am definitely getting sick of working all of the time. Hmmm. So many options. If some random person could just walk up to me and tell me what to do, that would be FANTASTIC!
Side note. One of my favorite words is masochist. I like how it sounds. I like how it feels when I pronounce it. Weird, I know. There are just certain words that I really like. Mostly for the way it feels when I say them. Hahaha!
Last night I slept terribly. I kept tossing and turning. I think it is because I haven't had caffeine for so long and I got a split shot yesterday instead. No bueno. I should have learned from yesterday but I did it again today. Whoops.
P.s. This latte is still rather delicious.
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