wildflower

This is my story; the story of how I lost myself in my marriage, cheated on my husband and learned to love myself again. My story is full of love, grief, passion, confusion, hate, depression, fear, loneliness, hope and probably every other emotion under the sun. May someone stumble upon this, learn from my mistakes and find hope.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

To fail.

Frustration is seeping through every single one of my veins at the moment. Why in the world is it so difficult to find a job? I am going to start a business..."For the people who can't seem to find a place to work"...It is going to be a success. You just wait and see.

I hate being sick. Hot, cold, hot, cold. Gosh, I feel like I am going through menopause or something. It is ridiculous. Maybe I am? Menopause at 20. Dang, that sure would suck.

I wish I were a little girl again. Where all I worried about was where my tutu was, which princess outfit I was going to wear next, how many colors of nail polish I would paint on my nails...which coloring book I would use to scribble in, etc. I want my biggest care to be trying to color inside the lines. Those were the days. I remember, I was four, taking a shower....as I picked up the L'oreal tear-free shampoo, I said, I don't ever want to grow up and I never want to kiss any boy other than my dad and brother. My, how things have changed. I was convinced I was going to marry my brother so I would not have to kiss another boy. Ha ha. Gross. It seemed so right in my wee mind. Hmmm.

I just want to be Pocahontas.

Where has time gone?

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