Ark.

I no longer own makeup.

I haven't been wearing any for quite sometime now. So I just threw my mascara away..and gave my blush to my mom. Considering that is all the makeup I owned anyway. I just really want to learn to embrace the natural beauty God gave me. Even if I am not beautiful in the world's eyes...I know God made me this way for a reason.

Hmm..what will be next to go?

That may sound petty to a lot of you. But that is where I am and what I have been thinking about. So deal with it! Ha ha ha :)

Anywho, I am sitting in my bed...and it is only 9:30. Ha ha! How lame. I think I have some homework I should be doing. Alas, I am not. No surprise though. I am tired of all of my classes..except for Modern Islamic Civilization. It is time for new classes. I should probably figure out what I am majoring in though. Ha! Man, I am so far behind in what people call life. I am still super clueless. I freaked out about it the other night. But feel so much better now..just sitting in the ark. What is there to worry about? God is always in control...and when I try to be in control...well, yeah, nothing works! Ever. I wonder (quite frequently) why I am in college. Is it just because I want to be "accepted" by society? If so..I have my priorities all mixed up. Hmmm. I don't think that is why though. It's strange. I have no idea why I was supposed to move back to Montana or why I was supposed to work at River Rising or why I was supposed to go the the University of Montana. I still have no idea why. I mean...I could have been in Africa a long time ago..but it didn't feel like the right time. I just know this is what God has wanted. Yet it still makes no sense to me. I feel as though going to U of M has been good...I think part of the reason I was supposed to go there was to meet Ian..I mean I would have met him from church...but the conversation starter went along the lines of me saying...hey, we go to the same school, we should get coffee sometime..who knows. Maybe it is too soon to think that way. But I just can't help myself.

I need to be humbled.

Yesterday was a super swell day. I worked all day..which was tiring but I tried to let Christ work through me. It was rough. Why is that rough? It shouldn't be. I struggle so much with saying no to my flesh..or at least it seems slash feels like it. Ugh. Work did go pretty well though. Just a super long day. I love homeless people. Then I drove up to Missoula with Tanner...I went to go hang out with Ian :) Tanner went ice skating and to dinner with Stephen. Ian and I walked around town..and went to go get coffee but never ended up getting any. Ha! It was better that way though :) We hung out for a bit..then Tanner came. They ended up playing some goodness on the guitar and bass while I fell asleep on the couch. I couldn't help myself! I was exhasted for one...and then Ian was playing and singing this beautiful song and it just put me to sleep :) I like him. So much. I can't even believe it. It is just so natural. I tend to find things wrong in others to come up with excuses of why we can't be together..or run when I get scared. But I am super scared (in a good way) and I just can't come up with any excuses. And I have tried. Believe me! He is just so wonderful. I was talking about him with Hollee tonight :) Every time someone mentions him or asks me about him...I just can't stop smiling. I get all excited! He he he :)

Today was pretty swell as well. I slept until 12. Ha ha! How lame. I think I needed it though. I chilled and read slash drank coffee for a bit. Then went to Hannah's...we chatted, sipped on some delightful java, went on a run, got ripped and it was FABULOUS! :) I love running. I love when I am in pain but know that it is only physical and I will get over it. I love when I can't breathe because my body is working so hard. Is that weird?

Goodness..I just want to go hiking! I want the weather to get better now so I can get in those mountains! It is time. I'm getting a twitch because I haven't been in the woods for a while. I miss it. Soon and very soon! Ian is going to take me kayaking this summer! I am so excited. Hopefully I don't die...but if I do, I'll be with Jesus. So all is well! Ha!

I really like Ian.

Did I mention I like Ian?

I didn't sing at church tonight. I was upset with Julian. He said something that really hurt my feelings so I didn't sing. I know that is not a good way to handle such things. He knew he hurt my feelings too. Sometimes I don't understand him..or why he says some things. But I suppose that happens to all of us. I mean we are human. He tried to talk to me about it but I didn't want any of it. I was rude. Which wasn't good. It almost made me cry. I should probably stop being immature and just talk to him.

I'm listening to Ray LaMontagne. So good. I haven't listened to him in quite sometime. He is mmm mmm good. Like Campbell's soup..but better. Way better!

Crazy Love by Francis Chan is a really good book. It is making me think.

I love the Lord. So much.