Coffee

"Fall on Jesus and live."

Amen to that. The song I am listening to is super delightful. I should be studying for a test I have tomorrow in my music class. However, I am failing at the whole studying thang. I am incredibly done with school. And I just started in January. Problem? Probably so.

It's 11:29 pm. I am not used to Montana time. I just got back from California this afternoon. That trip was EXACTLY what I needed. It was incredibly hard for me to leave. Harder than I thought it would be. All around the trip was just fantastic. I feel like a lot of healing took place after I went and watched choir on Tuesday. I was so nervous when I was walking up those stairs. Memories flooded my mind. I literally felt as though I was going to throw up. (Sorry if that is too graphic, but it is the truth) I feel like my heart isn't as full of bitterness anymore. I suppose time and prayer with tell.

I miss it there. I don't know that I really miss California..I just miss my friends there. California and Montana are quite different...yet I love them both so much. It is strange. I wonder why God did this. I know it is for a reason. Sometimes I just wish I could get an explanation right this instant. I know it is worth the wait though.

What a refreshing and encouraging trip. My friends are growing in the Lord so much. He is shining through them like never before and I find so much encouragement in that. I am amazed at the people they are becoming. It is evident that they are letting God transform them. I can't wait to see what the Lord has for them :)

I've been thinking a lot about if I am supposed to continue to stay in Montana or what I am supposed to do. I haven't heard much. So I will continue to sit in the ark..and let Him lead. Sometimes I wish there was just writing on the wall that would tell me exactly what I need to do. Nevertheless, I am here waiting and I am His. Besides His timing is perfect.

Oh goodness...it was so, so, so, so, so great seeing Ian today! Wow. I could not stop smiling! He amazes me more and more as the hours, days, weeks, months pass. He leaves me speechless a lot of the time. The other day he told me that he sees Jesus in me...I almost started crying then and there. I have been praying for that for so long. :) I am literally at a loss for words right now. I just really want God's will to be done with him and I. I know God has a plan. And whatever it is...I am wholly surrendered to it. Wow. I haven't felt this way about someone...it is so incredibly different. So beautiful. Christ is the focus of our relationship..and it is truly amazing. I can't wait to pray with him :) I'm scared because I have done that in the past and it creates a whole never level of connectedness. (If that makes any sense whatsoever) I know it will happen when the time is right. Knowing that God is in control is so encouraging. Falling for a God fearing, loving, compassionate, tender, kind-hearted, respectable, simple man of God is quite amazing :)

To be simple. I want to learn how to do that. I want to learn how to have little and yet be overflowing with Christ's love. Mmmmm.